insomnia

can't sleep again.
when i close my eyes i see you
when i close my eyes i see myself in the middle of nowhere
and when i open my eyes, i see myself;
disappointed and clueless.
regret is not the best word.
it is not in my dictionary.
i seek comfort in nicotine
i need to lose weight
anorexia anyone?
i feel like running away
fuck fuck fuck fuck
the truth is i don't want any of this
no strings attach.
im pretending to be someone im not
how do i break this to you?
not the time?
i don't want things to get any deeper
love.
friend or foe?
its a four letter word with a hell lot of definition
and right now i just can't define it
nah uh that word don't ring any bells
at the end of the day,
you won't understand me.